Aries: Change is heavy, Aries. Whether it be in the form of a load of coins, or a transition in your life, carrying this sort of weight isn’t something you love to do. However, money is money in every form, and without life changes, we become boring, even to ourselves. It’s time for you to see this as a way to make things lighter for you. If you’re transitioning, see this as a time for you to set free your past and old ways, and welcome a future full of new ways to be. Certainly you have control over this, but an Aries is also a rarely stagnant personality type. Get those pennies you’ve been saving and hit up a Coinstar, my friend, there’s an easy way to make that change lighter, too.

  Taurus: Actor and comedian Tracy Morgan appeared on a few talk shows in 2007 where he was questionably under the influence. I’ve watched a few of these online with friends and we laughed because it was quite funny. I wonder if Morgan ever looks back on those episodes (like when he sat on one knee and exclaimed, “I did get this leg blown off in Vietnam!”) with feelings of embarrassment or regret? Perhaps you’ve got some moments in your past that felt brilliant at the time, but now leave you with mixed feelings? Take the road of looking on the bright side. You may not have been at your best, but you brought others joy. Now is your chance to make such moves with more control while still keeping your audience happy.

  Gemini: Whenever I get to writing the horoscope for Gemini the theme song from the cartoon “Jem and The Holograms” comes to mind. I remember their rival band coming into the song with their stance “But we’re the Misfits, our songs are better.” Growing up a little punk, I can’t help but think of The Misfits (Glenn Danzig version, not cartoon) and think to myself, “The Misfits songs are still better than anything!” Sure it’s a stretch, but the Gemini sign tries very hard to be the best. To have a rival is something you enjoy, just so you can do better. Keep up the good work. You can do better, so long as you keep trying. These cold winter days will only bring you down if you let them. Abbreviate and misspell your sign to “Jem” and take the final words from the cartoon theme song into your coming weeks as a guide: “Jem is my name, no one else is the same. Jem!”

  Cancer: Sometimes, memory distorts itself. We can have a “clear” memory of something, yet we are entirely wrong about it. For example, two siblings, similar in age, can remember their childhood home quite differently. This sort of things can cause tension between two people when both feel certain in their ways. One sibling may remember five steps entering the front door and the other remembers six. Both could even have stories backing their belief. Yet, without a photo or a visit, neither memory will be proven correct. This type of discussion seems interesting, but also just plain stubborn. The Cancer loves to be right. I say why not try something different and just allow someone else to be right, or at least to think they’re right on your behalf? It can ease the tension and make both parties feel good. It’s time to turn off your confabulation station and tune into someone else’s.

  Leo: My favorite song by the English prog-rock band Caravan is called “In The Land Of Grey And Pink”. Lyrics aside, I spent my best day of 2017 so far in a land of grey and pink. Marching along the parkway during the Women’s March on Saturday, with grey skies and pink hats a-plenty, I felt more joy than that song has brought me hundreds of times over. The power within our city alone was exploding with positivity; and to think cities all over the world were marching, too, not just in our country. Leo is a powerful sign in her own right. I urge you to continue on with such power. If you have something you feel powerful about, go ahead and express yourself. If you’re an artist, start getting involved in Frankford Ave First Fridays. If you’re a record collector, go shopping at all the local record stores (there are many up in this ‘hood!) and become a DJ. Whatever you choose, if it’s the latter, pease buy the Caravan album which shares the song I mentioned as its title and invite me to your DJ night!

  Virgo: When you turn 30, you don’t think you’re really going to continue making best friends. Don’t fool yourself, man! I met fellow Virgo Sue Eggen (of Giant Dwarf) when I was 31. She gave me a job, became a mentor of sorts, and is currently helping to guide me into my future in unimaginable ways. A Virgo can often be too wrapped up in their own big brains to allow others in. What is something you don’t know a lot about, but you’d like to learn more of? Sure, we’ve got our grand old internet, but we also have a city full of like-minded people. In the next few weeks, someone will come along for you to cherish. Be sure you do because, if I know best, everyone deserves their own version of Sue.

Libra: We are all aware that the Internet has changed the way we read. I remember reading “Fahrenheit 451” (by Ray Bradbury) in school, and thinking it so insane. Books were everything when I was growing up: They represented how I learned and how I spent my free time. As a kid, my dream job was to write novels. However, perhaps not quite outlawed, but certainly not popularly favored, books have been replaced by kindles and computers. Oh, but what about not just the words you read, but the smell of the paper and forgetting where you left off? Books seem so romanticised now, as a delicate thing of the past. I say, let’s bring them back in style! When was the last time you read a book? Has your attention span been cursed by technology? Perhaps head over to Ulises on Columbia Avenue and pick up a zine. Start small. Sit outside on a bench and enjoy reading, without having to also keep thinking about your battery running low. This could make way for the trends you’ll be setting this year.

Scorpio: I haven’t yet been to Weckerly’s, the new handmade ice cream shop on East Girard, yet, but I think about it almost daily. I keep telling myself, “today’s the day!” and then I forget until I remember again. It’s that sensual extrovert side of me who just travel hops through my day dreams. Is this sounding like you lately, Scorpio? Have you been putting things off lately? This isn’t quite like you. Maybe you haven’t even realized how much this is affecting you. Get to the source and find what’s holding you back. Don’t just lay there imagining what flavors of ice cream there are, what the cones taste like, what you’re in the mood for, and how you could be walking around enjoying lick after lick after lick. Maybe it’s as simple as tying your shoes and heading out the door. Whatever it is, call me when you figure it out and let’s go get some ice cream cones!

  Sagittarius: Due to some epic life experiences, I am of the thought that “nothing is what it seems.” Not particularly let down often and not too sided with my Aquarian ways, I genuinely believe that due to our own personal massive subconsciousness and the sincere purity of our waking life, it’s difficult to acknowledge the truth in what something really is, when we ourselves are many within. Do not let this deter you from learning and believing in things, but rather a guidance to beware. There is a song by The Smiths in which Morrissey sings, “There is a light and it never goes out.” Keep this as your motto during your future discouragements. You don’t have to thank me for this one, for “Well, the pleasure — the privilege is mine”.

  Capricorn: Toward the end of 2012, I was feeling great. I had some time off from a movie I was working on and so I did a bit of traveling. My last stop was Los Angeles. Not just to see my angel, best friend, and brother Jesse Moynihan (a fellow Capricorn), but also to see if I’d like to live there in the future. As I was about to return home, I messed up my return flight date and was unable to fly back into Philadelphia due to Hurricane Sandy. To make matters worse, I had a job to return to in just five days. I took a train across the country to Chicago, at which point, there was only one car taking a group of elderly folks back East. I had one option: make friends with some old-head and pretend I was their caregiver and get my butt on that train. Lo and behold, the plan worked! The train ride home at night was better than a white noise machine, I slept through breathing tubes and snores! I arrived in Philly right when I was due. Capricorn, let’s get real. You love a challenge. You even go as far as to make them. So go ahead and learn how to fix them, too. Peaceful is as peaceful does, and there’s also always a calm after the storm…

  Aquarius: I once got a fortune that read exactly: “Silence is a virtual. Especially Dinner time, from telemarketers.” These words and their strange use of upper and lower case letters keep me thinking of this, nearly a year later. I wonder who wrote it and if they thought it was funny. I often tell others about it or show them the photo I took of it and I seem to be the most amused. Maybe I share the amusement only with the person who wrote it? It’s our little enjoyment, whoever we are to each other, which is otherwise nothing at all. Aquarians are loyal people, who can hold onto secrets for a long time, as if it’s our job. We tend to take pride in knowing something no one else does. I urge you to find something in you that you’ve been holding back sharing and open it to someone else. It’s a good time to let others in on your secrets.

Pisces: Mathematically, there is only one way for two to become one, and that is to take one away from two. Yet, in relationships two can become one in love. You’re the type of person who enjoys having a relationship, yet you struggle in them often. Only you can change that to make it how you want it. With the “blessing”, as it were, of all these new places popping up in our little community, you’ve got options to step out of your shell and try something new in more ways than one. If you’re in a relationship, suggest to your partner that you’d like to try somewhere new. Garage has great beer on tap and Wm. Mulherin’s Sons has a great happy hour. Take your baby out for a date to let them know their place in your lone little heart. If you’re single, try one of these places, and keep your eyes peeled. Eye candy is only edible if you take a bite! •