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Spirit Astrology: Your Dose of Hyperlocal Spiritual Advice (June 14, 2017)


Aries: Last week the publisher of The Spirit wrote me to let me know he had received two phone calls about the horoscopes I wrote. He said, “I’m not sure if it was accidental, incidental or intentional, but using the horoscopes as a narrative device for your personal story really seems to resonate.” I was happy to hear this, because I do enjoy writing a bunch. Also, lately, my life has been so wild, it’s nice to have a place to vent. It’s also nice to know that people feel as though they can relate more than if they were reading something about planets and moons, and kind of just skim it, and then not really have a clue what they’re supposed to think. Now you get to think, “Man, Sharon is kind of wild.” And that’s okay. For your weekly dose, Aries, I would like you to read every horoscope I have written on this page. Then I would like you to put yourself in my shoes. Then I want you to realize, you don’t have to wear my shoes. Now go be grateful for what you have.

Taurus: I’m not one for hot weather. Even warm weather makes me uncomfortable. I much prefer cold weather. I like to lie in bed with someone I love and not have to feel stuck to them with sweat, but like I want to grab them more to keep warm. I will miss doing that with my ex. I miss it right now, which is probably why I am making your horoscope about it. He had this way of holding me that made me feel amazing. It was one of my favorite things about our relationship. Despite the fact that I was unwillingly sharing that part of him with another woman, I still enjoyed it when it was mine. Now I am sleeping alone in beds that are not mine. I am depressed and hungry, and I think about him all the time. I think about how easy it was for me to love him, and how what he gave back to me is this. Nothing. You know, we have things like heaters and air conditioners so we can alter the temperature to suit our needs. You just turn it on and adjust it to exactly where you want it. If only you could do that with people. I’d be so happy to sleep in a bed with him again, except I cannot. Because he is broken, I had to throw him away. Taurus, remember you can only control the things you can actually adjust in this world. Don’t waste your time trying to do things you know you cannot do.

Gemini: I used to think people who joined cults were kind of stupid. That was before I understood the power of manipulation. For me, that mixed with something called “intermittent reinforcement” kept me in an abusive relationship for nearly two years. I never personally experienced gaslighting until one day, when the love of my life looked at me in the eyes and said, “I’ve never told you I love you.” It was so heartbreaking, and so very untrue. The pain, otherwise, had me living like a rat in a cage. I was just always in there waiting for my food, obsessing over when it would come. In the beginning, I was overfed, showered with food. By the end, I was starving. Recently, this person offered to pick me up in Port Richmond, even though things had been so ugly before. I thought, “Well, if he is offering, maybe I should go?” So I did. As soon as I got in the car, he began being so mean to me. Naturally, I started to cry. He got out of the car, left it sitting in an illegal parking spot, and then walked away — leaving me drunk with nowhere to go at 1AM in the morning on Allegheny Ave. Gemini, here’s the lesson I learned that I would like to share with you: Trust no one.

Cancer: For months, every Monday morning, I would get up at 5:30AM with my then-boyfriend and I would help him to get ready for his work week and weekly ride to New York. This always included making him a cup of coffee and making sure all of his things were ready to go while he got dressed. I was always doing nice things for him, not just because I loved him and wanted him to be happy, but because I guess I thought he was doing nice things for me. Only to have things slam into perspective for me, realizing nothing was ever that nice and he was faking it with his New York girlfriend as well. After every lovely weekend together, at some point during the week (every single week), he would just decide that we were not going to talk anymore and he would turn his phone off. Sometimes, I guess if he was with her, he would keep it off all night long. Yet, the life I wanted to live involved getting my daily phone call in with my boyfriend since he spent his work week in New York. That sort of frustration and stress made me act in ways I wish I’d never known I was capable of. You see, Cancer, some people can really shock you, even if it’s a constant state of shock, resulting in PTSD. One day they’re telling you how important you are to them, and the next day, they’re pushing you down the stairs. You need to be sure to stay strong and support yourself. As it is said, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”

Leo: Weather like this makes it hard to do anything. Everyone is always complaining about the weather, but let’s face it: summer sucks. It is hard to sleep, it is hard to eat, it is hard to move at all. The sun rises too early and wears out its welcome long before it sets. So why do people crave this hardship? Ruining our clothing, sweating is disgusting, heat waves and over exhaustion. No thank you. Things are just out of our control sometimes. Sometimes the weather is just ridiculously hot. There’s no escape. We accept the sluggishness and the discomfort, for what else can we do? Well, Leo, some things you can control. Some things can be easily controlled by you. Try to focus on these things instead. If you’re feeling too hot, take your copy of The Spirit and head on out to you favorite local air-conditioned place. You can always kill two birds with one stone by going somewhere like Milkcrate and picking up a paper and some cool air. Whatever you choose, just remember, when you’re back into the sweltering heat, at least you’re not a Polar Bear.

Virgo: Last week, I was cleaning a house in Fishtown on wide open Cumberland Street. As I was cleaning the blinds with Volta’s Basil Mint All-Purpose Cleaner, I watched the recycling truck roll by, smash the driver’s side mirror on my car, clean up the glass, and then roll away, like nothing ever happened. I don’t really believe in karma, but lately I have been feeling like people who wrong other people should get wronged themselves. I believe that what goes around comes around. I believe that peace and love are the only way, and when someone interferes with that, I get sad. My empathetic state just hurts so much. I feel full of so much pain for bad people and I just want to love them. I want them to know there is another way. Virgo, take my lead here. You’re one to hold a grudge, but I think you should try holding a person who you feel has wronged you. Hold them in your arms, soft and sweet, and feel how powerful that hug is.

Libra: The 24th Police District, which covers the 19134 zip code, has proven to be a group of police that will take a bag of your boyfriend’s drugs for recreational use — leaving his other bags behind. They will not side with a woman who calls them in fear of this boyfriend and his physical abuse. They will take the boyfriend’s side and tell him that they “get calls like this all the time”. When you’re living up by the K&A stop, a lot of things happen. It seems the neighborhood becomes you. Before you know it, you’re on welfare, your boyfriend is an abusive drug addict and you’re calling 911 more than once for help, but get no help, so the problem keeps happening. I am glad to be away from there and I look forward to getting my things moved out this week. If they’re there, who knows, he could destroy them for all I know. Libra, sometimes you get stuck in a situation that you don’t see clearly. As bad as it can get, you are still in and trying because you are the nurturing sign. I believe this next week for all of us should be used to nurture ourselves. What do you say?

Scorpio: I have always been a fan of the movie Eternal Sunshine Of A Spotless Mind. My ex and I saw it three times in one week in the theater. It makes me cry every time. The sadness in forgetting someone who you loved so dearly is too much for me to handle. However, I have decided to take a leap in forgetting my other most recent ex. When I met him, I fell for him right away. He was charming, smart, and he always made me laugh. I thought he was beautiful. He is talented and I love his art. Then I found out I had been living a lie for the entire relationship. He had another girlfriend, slept with other women, lied to me constantly and then even darker parts of him came out him. I am trying to be grateful for what we had, but every time I try, I remember we had different things. He had my full attention, ultimate love, and whatever else I could give him. I had someone who was completely unreliable and mean to me. So I spoke with a local hypnotist about helping me out. He says he can do it! You’re such a sensitive person, I know you most likely have deep regrets that you choose to hold onto out of guilt. But sometimes it is okay to let go and now may be that very time. It’s okay to see things differently and to feel healthy.

Ophiuchus: I think I have become one of these women who is afraid of men now. I can’t imagine loving someone, because of how hard I just got played. The next time someone tells me they’ve got a drug problem, I am not going to become their girlfriend. I’ve done this twice in my life now, and both times have resulted in too much pain. I’ve never been a vengeful person, but my mind right now can’t help but hope the absolute worst for my ex. I imagine his car dying, or maybe he gets a boot put on it from all of his unpaid parking tickets. Or maybe he somehow gets hold of a copy of this paper, and reads each horoscope and cries. He has never apologized to me for anything he has ever done. Ophiuchus, apologies and humility are things that help you to humble yourself sometimes. Sometimes you hurt someone, and denial sets in rather than sympathy for this person’s emotions. And so the guilt you take on makes it even harder for the other person to forgive you. Well, unless that person is me. Apparently I will forgive anyone for anything. Try to reach out to someone who feels you’ve wronged them in some way, and let them know you’re sorry. You will feel better, they will feel better, and this sort of energy being put out there could potentially help me to fall in love again.

Sagittarius: I have been making little collages. One has a little bird, which I attached by first laying cotton down, so he’s stuffed. I have not eaten. I am hungry, but my hunger lies in the desire to sleep with you again. I stuffed this bird for you so that you would not forget the way I used to stuff your bird before. You would say, “I love you” and “You are beautiful” and then the stuffing of your bird would explode all over me. And we’d lie there together, weightless and free. Like two unstuffed birds being carried away by the breeze. I have what feels like a case of endless suffering. I feel lost and scared. I try to wing it, but if I would wing anything, it would be my arms, and I would fly away. Sagittarius, I hope that you’re feeling a little bit better than my overly dramatic and romantic self. I hope your little heart keeps on beating, and that your mind stops its constant repeating. You deserve to have the things you want, don’t you? I hope you can find what makes you happy, and then I hope you can teach me how.

Capricorn: Heartache is a serious issue. It’s a painful feeling that consumes your mind, and sometimes it makes your body sick. During my recent heartache, I have been having trouble eating, and when I do, I have trouble keeping it down. I feel uneasy so often, and all I want to do is go home. Except there is no home to go home to. It’s a very strange feeling to not have a place to call your own. It’s been interesting staying in West Philly temporarily. It’s been even more interesting knowing that my God-awful ex, after a lot of violent behavior, is also staying in West Philly with his brother who lives just a few blocks away from where I am. He treats me like wild, kicks me out of my house, and then follows me here to hurt me. Well, it worked. In trying to get away from him, I ended up driving behind him on Baltimore Avenue one early evening, after I’d cried all day from the pain he’s caused me. Capricorn, if you ever get the itch to ruin someone’s life — first, don’t — and second, stop following them around. And if you’re a particular Capricorn reading this, your energy is ruining it for the rest of the Capricorns in this world, so please go away.

Aquarius: Warning signs are a crazy thing. People always say to beware of the warning signs. I seem to be oblivious to such signs. For example, if someone lies to me, cheats on me, tells me to lose weight, treats me terribly — well, I am going to love them. I am going to accept, forgive, and move forward with almighty hope. Putting myself in danger and sadness, sign after sign. I used to see this as some magical strength I was blessed with. Now I think that maybe it’s a weakness. We Aquarians love to help people. I recently learned that doing this makes us drained of the things we want, as we become consumed with others’ needs instead. Sometimes, I did this to avoid a problem. Like when my ex would disappear with his New York girlfriend, I would still walk his dog and make sure there was fresh milk for his coffee in the fridge for whenever he returned home. The next time someone hurts you, Aquarius, do not use the “kill them with kindness” approach. Just run away as fast as you can and never look back.

Pisces: Sometimes I just really want a milkshake. I want cold, refreshing stirred-up ice cream in a cup with a straw. This craving happens maybe a few times a month. I haven’t had a milkshake in years. This makes me feel like I can control my cravings. Yet, in every other part of my life, I have trouble with control. I get obsessed and I can’t say no. Maybe the milkshake is an easy thing to control, because I am obsessed with my body, and I don’t want to gain weight. Not that one milkshake would kill me — it would probably even make me feel really good — but as someone who has struggled with eating disorders my entire life, it’s easy to say no to a milkshake. This week, I am going to eat ice cream. Maybe a milkshake, maybe a cone. I don’t know yet, I just know I am going to enjoy it. Pisces, if there is something that is holding you back from doing something you want to do, it’s time to cut the ties. You’ve got to be able to be you always.

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