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Spirit Astrology: Your Weekly Dose of Hyperlocal Spiritual Advice (April 26, 2017)

  Aries: I am pretty certain I suffer from ADHD of some sort. I cannot sit still. I start on one project, and I immediately switch to another. I get super involved in one thing, and then I am pacing around the house, starting on another project. I move from that project, try to get back to the next, feel completely overwhelmed and then take a nap. I wake from the nap feeling loads of awful, try to take a walk, and then try for some project, be it new or old, before getting utterly frustrated upon another incomplete act. I am often, for this reason, left feeling unrested, underachieved, and speaking to my shrink about this. It’s like I hit this certain part of the day, where I find myself walking up and down the Kensington streets, with my friend Simone the dog. We pass by our regular spots, and I try to talk to her about it, but she isn’t very responsive. I tell you this, because one thing I know about Aries, for sure, is that you love to procrastinate. So, I think in this regard, you may be able to relate to my project-related difficulties. Perhaps if we could share a brain I could get you to start sooner, and you could at least help me to finish ever. Alas, this is not an option. Keep up your finishing process. If it’s stressing you out lately, be grateful you’re at least completing something at some point.

  Taurus: Today marks the birthday of one of my oldest and dearest friends. Her name is Ruth. Ruth is the type of gal who is very giving among her friends. She is also smart, and she chooses her friends wisely. I always want to be better about the company I choose, as I’ve been hurt quite a bit, giving too much and getting too little. If I truly chose people who treated me as I want to be treated, and vice versa, I’d be surrounded by people like Ruth. Taurus, if you’re not the kind of person who is capable of always knowing and appreciating at least someone around you at all times, perhaps it’s time for you to follow this style, and choose wiser. Imagine if every time you were with someone, you felt fulfilled, like there was nothing to hide, like you could be yourself. Imagine that the love you expressed to this person was felt within you just the same. Treat yourself to this Taurus, and Happy Birthday to you!

  Gemini: I’ve been practicing yoga more seriously lately. It’s as if, with every session, my body is moving in ways I didn’t know I needed it to. I finish every practice feeling better and better. I do this from the comfort of my own home, rather than getting involved in the yoga community. There’s a reason for this, but I am not quite sure of the reason, nor am I totally sold on it. It’s some kind of strange insecurity, perhaps. Do you have moments of feeling this way? Where you’ve got something special that you do all alone, that you know you’d benefit more from doing with other people, but choose not to? I think it’s time for you to make the leap into the community. Let’s do it together. I will try out Motherheart Studio or Amrita Yoga and Wellness, and you get the band together, or whatever it is you feel you need to do. Here’s to hoping this brings us all new success.

  Cancer: I am currently dressed in my old, worn-out Pink Floyd shirt and some multi-pink weed socks. I’m listening to the Strokes’ “Is This It”, while writing horoscopes at noon on a Sunday. All the while, my boyfriend is downstairs in his shop, painting a door to be made for some friends, and working on my car, whose engine has been smoking pretty badly. I woke up early today, and I baked some rosemary, fig, and olive oil challah bread for breakfast. Simone the dog is staring at me. To say I am not feeling happy would be a total lie. Last night, I had dinner with some friends. While there, they put their three year old to bed, and I learned their bedtime routine, which involved the child saying one thing he is thankful for from the day. He does this every night. I decided I needed to take this into my own life, and to learn to be thankful for some things. Some things like right now. Cancer, when we get wrapped up in the stresses of our daily life, we often forget to take the time to be grateful for the things we cherish. I urge you to stop what you’re doing right now, and tell yourself something you’re thankful for.

  Leo: The problem with being a drinker and a lover of wine is the option to buy it boxed. It’s like an endless trap. You can just keep going back for another little splash, and before you know it, you’re all alone in your house, late at night, in your underwear, eating popcorn in bed while watching Girlboss and looking through old photos on your phone. Sure, maybe that’s just me, but don’t we all have a similar vice? I’ve seen ads for these shows where people get addicted to coupon clipping. A similar endless trap of deals. Whatever your little vice is, Leo, don’t look at it as a fault anymore. From this point on, or at least for a trial period, see your vice as exciting. See it as an outsider, and learn to enjoy it, instead of thinking of it as a vice. Hopefully, I am not pushing you do something that’s not great. So perhaps try to choose a healthier vice. I don’t want to feed your drug habit, or the things you do that your wife complains about. I just want you to learn to love yourself a little more.

  Virgo: After a long stint of being unemployed and underemployed, I am now employed! I am working for a company owned and operated by an old friend of mine. The company is called Volta Natural Cleaning, and it is pretty self-explanatory. All of the products are made from scratch, bottled by employees, and are used with love. It’s a nice gig, and if you need to clean your house, get in touch and tell her I sent you! The job has actually been quite inspiring in two ways for me. The first is, it’s an all-female staff, and I love being around other women. The second is, it’s taught me the importance of cleanliness in my house (only took 37 years). It’s a whole method she’s taught us, and spring couldn’t be a better time to be learning it! Virgo, you are often organizing things in your brain, but what if you came up with a physical way to express these things? I’ve always seen cleanliness, but am just learning to express it. Maybe you’re the type to have conversations with people in your mind, but let’s say it’s time to actually get out and have those conversations. Let’s say you keep telling yourself you’re going to try something new, and now it is time to try that new thing! It will feel rewarding. Take it from me.

  Libra: Sometimes things work out exactly as you want them to. Sometimes it is shocking how much you can create something in your mind that is then carried out to a T. These are glorious moments that should be carried around in your memory pockets for when things don’t work out as planned. Last week, I was driving home from Whole Foods, and four hours later, I made it to my front door. After two separate AAA trucks came out, and the car was taken to Frankford Auto, I was finally able to come home and be too hungry to make food, so yet again I ate chips and salsa for dinner. Upon picking my car up, I was happy every time it started, for it had stopped starting, making the case for the tow. Then, just a few short hours after driving my little wagon, smoke began pouring from the engine. And now, I can no longer drive my car, until it is fixed. It’s time now for me to pull out one of those memories I’ve got stored in my brain pockets and remind myself that things can and will work out. With the good vibes from the AAA guys, the honesty of the Frankford Auto guys, the work my special dude is doing on my car now, and the willingness to believe, I will have my favorite little car working in no time. Libra, pull out some old memories of time’s past when things went just right. Remember that ease and channel as you wish.

  Scorpio: As most of you readers are aware, Kensington is sadly an opiate haven for some. The scene is pretty gnarly. As I live up in the K&A cut, I can tell you it is very sad. The recent attention brought to this neighborhood for reasons of hoping to reach out to addicts in need is a lovely thing, despite the controversy of this versus the crack epidemic in the 80s. This past weekend, I know of three heroin overdoses, including two deaths, within my circle. It’s an oppressive neighborhood, full of neglect. The intersection at Somerset Street and Kensington Avenue is not the happiest corner this side of Lehigh. It’s an El stop, with a lot of police activity, and for someone like me, not much else but a short walk from the Village Thrift. For most people who frequent this corner, they’re selling their bodies or their drugs, they’re buying the bodies of the others, or maintaining an awful habit. Or they’re building Ruth Street Lofts?! Seriously, now? I would like to see a turnaround in this neighborhood. I’d like a walk to a coffee shop. I’d like flowers that aren’t carnations or that aren’t set up for a funeral plot. And yes, I agree with the NKCDC and their mission of connecting this strung-out community with better resources, but I don’t think this hood is quite ready for the only crowd who will be able to afford this place, nor is this crowd going to get what they pay for, i.e. a safe, pleasant neighborhood, in walking distance to anything. Scorpio, I share this complaint with you, because I know you often see success in your changes. Yet sometimes, you really need to consider the effects this will have on others, and take a step back before making a change. The time for this is now.

  Sagittarius: If every person were given the chance to know what it feels like to walk outside and do whatever they want, I think the world would be a better place. There is always more to dream, there is always more to do, but some of us are simply stuck in dreams of more to do. I enjoy making lists of things I want to do. I enjoy channeling the feeling of the things I want to feel upon achieving my goals. I find it hard to believe that these things are so hard for me to get. Things I want in life are a family, a washer/dryer combo, and just enough money to feel at ease. Most of my peers have some variation of this, yet I am stuck without. Is this a good way to look at things? I do not know. However, it is my way. To not forget who I am and why I’m here. Sagittarius, if you’re feeling lost or swayed off your tracks, because other people are telling you to do something different than you want, it’s time for you to get back on track. You’re only you here, not always in need of the collective consciousness you often like to feel.

  Capricorn: Sometimes, on a hot summer day, I want to lie down in the produce section of the grocery store and close my eyes. I want to feel the cold, dirty floor attaching itself to my sweaty skin. I want to feel the eyes of my observers passing by me in confusion and disgust. And when I stand up, I want to just get up and walk out and not buy a single thing. I have this image appear often, and I think it’s some sort of control vibe or freedom cry. I’m not sure. Either way, it’s an exciting process, and I hope to achieve this goal, come summer. If you’ve got something on your mind that is so frequent, but seems absurd, maybe it’s time to go for it. Do something that would impress everyone around you. Do something big. Make a choice, and go for it, and let the gratitude and love pour in, as you’ve never known it to.

  Aquarius: Four cups of coffee is leading me to a quick heart and scattered mind. The weather is not too hot, not too cold. The sun is showing, and I have been inside writing horoscopes for five hours now. I did take a yoga break. I want to get outside, but I want to get outside and into the deep, quiet woods. I want to get outside and into a boat built for two. I want to get outside as the sun is setting, but the clocks aren’t moving their hands at all. I want that feeling of a late-night trip to the beach with my friends, not minding a thing at all. What do you call that feeling? Whatever it is, we can dream it all we’d like. For us Aquarians, for us sensual introverts, traveling through life in our little minds, by way of our big dreams – for us we can dream. And dream as we will, let’s find a way to get out of our heads for a little bit. It’s time to broaden our minds with news ideas, coming from the outside in. Let the birdsongs awaken you. Let the eyes of another stare into you.

  Pisces: The saying “It doesn’t hurt to ask” is potentially one of the most absurd things I choose to say. I have come up with intense, massive amounts of courage; I have had to gain loads of confidence and love for myself before asking a question. When the response is sometimes no, that rejection has hurt me beyond belief. Maybe it’s the asking that doesn’t hurt, but the response that can cause so much pain. And isn’t the answer simply a result of asking? Isn’t it part of the process? What about “Don’t ask, don’t tell”? At least then the unknowing is agonizing in itself, yet still a mystery, while the actual answer could break your little heart. For you, Pisces, there’s a saying I’d like you to hold dear in the coming weeks, and it’s this: “Be careful what you ask for.”

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