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Spirit Astrology: Your Dose of Hyperlocal Spiritual Advice (April 5, 2017)

Aries: Recently, while conversing about why people like some things and others do not, my friend and I went through some controversial ideas of things that some people like and some people do not: sour cream, Billy Joel, marriage, cilantro, S&M dungeons. Wait right there. This is when the conversation came to a halt. In all reality, with one’s guard let down, wouldn’t anyone like an S&M dungeon? If you suddenly loved your body, had no source of negative judgement, were wrapped in leather, and — well, you can imagine the rest. Aries, I feel as though you’re holding a guard up about something you don’t really even care too much about. I suggest you make peace with the idea that perhaps you do like this thing, and that, given the opportunity, you might even just love it. Be free.

Taurus: I’m trying to find out more about the water in Philadelphia. Is it safe to drink? I have been reading all over about this concern of mine and I can’t seem to get a solid answer. The Phila.gov website says it’s actually quite safe indeed. As a matter of fact, they make it seem so safe, they could almost convince you it tastes good. However, PhillyMag reports that the process of testing water, here in Philadelphia, is corrupted and helps to hide the true levels of lead in our drinking water. I also found out the the two major sources for Philadelphia drinking water are the Delaware and Schuylkill Rivers, which seems nuts, considering these two are filthy. My major concern here is that I need to drink water every day. So, now I am trying to find a way to prioritize pure, clean water entering my body. Taurus, if you’re not sure whether something is good for you or not, but it’s something you know your body needs, be sure to test it first. Filter through it and learn whether or not you can trust your sources.

Gemini: I am really bummed to say goodbye to winter. I already look forward to next winter. I don’t need to wear a coat as often and the wood stove is coming on her hibernation time. Soon to be sweaty, uncomfortable, sleepless, and annoyed with needing to keep the windows open and being forced to hear everyone else’s noises. I’m becoming slightly less motivated to do anything, as spring and summer tend to take away the need to move and set in a wall of humidity that traps me from doing anything. Oh, and let’s not even get into the terrible summer fashion options — shorts, a dress (not enough good accessories in hot weather), sandals, etc. Like most people, I guarantee you’re the complete opposite of me. I bet you’re looking forward to the warmer days. Those days of pleasant bike rides, ice cream outside and walks along the Wissahickon. Well, be here now, Gemini. Live in your moment, because the time has come. April showers are here to cleanse you. In my case, at least the rain will bring gray skies.

Cancer: My boyfriend is very funny. He constantly claims that I am the only one who thinks this, but then I have to claim that it’s only because I am the only one he really spends time with outside of work. As a Capricorn, he’s got a lot of confidence, so I don’t really know why he’s so surprised when I compliment him on parts of his character that I enjoy. Cancer, you’ve had a similar demeanor lately. Full of confidence, but trouble accepting that others are seeing the things in you that amaze them. Let go, and be accepting. Allow this praise inside, Cancer. You don’t have to go around boasting about it, or letting it get to your heard too much, but you ought to accept it and feel pleased by it. A dog may be man’s best friend, but people are better at communicating it. As Groucho Marx said, “Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” And who writes books? People do.

Leo: The birds are chirping, the wind is blowing, the door is open and police are speeding around Kensington with their sirens loud, per usual. Well, the police part, at least. I’d thought about walking to the Village Thrift today, as it’s only a few blocks west and south of my current residence. Then I realized I am still pretty broke and I am thinking of practicing yoga and finding ways to wake up a little bit. You, however, Leo, thrive in the spring and summer weather. As a child of the summer season, you like to begin to grow again in every summer season. Don’t take my direction, but follow your own. Let this spring blossom you into your true spirit and summer self. For all you know, everyone’s awaiting that part of you.

Virgo: Life is a subtle beauty. It’s sometimes unfair and overwhelming and hard. Finding stability and happiness, finding peace and joy — these things can be difficult. Virgo, I know a trick to this. You’ve got to recognize that this work is only you. You need to learn to believe that the woes and hardships can seem so different, if only you change your attitude toward them. No one person should feel entitled enough to think he should deserve more than he has, trust me. I’ve been living on a dime for a year now. It’s not always easy, but you have to surround yourself with things you know you like; things that inspire you and drive you and meet you where you need to be. For me, this has been relearning a lot about myself, accepting myself, and working on loving this wild being I get to be. I am loved and cherished and I feel grateful, for these things are not easy to achieve. They take a lot of empathy and true trials and risks to learn. For you, maybe it’s just chilling out with a bowl. The Beatles sing “Happiness Is a Warm Gun”, but maybe a part of that is to be played backwards. Maybe happiness is a warm nug? Whatever warmth you find to chill you out, do it and do it for real. Your stress is only yours, and if you don’t want it, it’s time to say goodbye.

Libra: I grew up loving Madonna. I was such a huge fan. I dressed like her for Halloween in the seventh grade, in a very questionable costume for a gal as young as I was then. I saw her perform in concert, I wore a Madonna shirt a lot, and I had a Boy Toy necklace that I wore too. I remember she had a few tips on taking showers. She said if you don’t know whether or not you should wash your hair, the answer is always yes, and she also admitted to and recommended peeing in the shower. Libra, showers will be aplenty this April, no doubt. It will be your job to choose how to enjoy them. Know that in the end, crops will be growing; realize you need a few gray days to enjoy the sunny ones to come even more, etc. Choose a way to enjoy them, even if it means jumping in a few dirty puddles. There’s always another shower for that.

Scorpio: When I was growing up, you had to do so much more to get what you wanted. There were department stores rather than Amazon, there were record stores rather than iTunes, there were libraries instead of smart phones. This list could go on forever. I shudder to think of the future allowing more and more to be at our very fingertips. It disgusts me, although I allow it. What other choice do I have? Scorpio, if we were all lined up in our given zodiac sign (and none of this “on the cusp” BS), you’d certainly be the sign that remains a doer. A nonstop doer of all things. I praise you for this. I praise you for not allowing yourself to let the past be forgotten. I enjoy the way you let every part of you remain intact, and the way you move forward as someone who has and will be an inspiration to us all, to remain true and never lazy. Keep up the good work.

Sagittarius: I was asked to write a small bio about myself for my new job. In addition to writing about the things I do, and where I come from, I added a few things that I want. These things were a garden of wid flowers and a washer/dryer combo in my house. I also want to be able to afford a gym membership and fresh, new sheets, but these things seem more attainable as my job picks up. Spring is a time for cleansing. I say make a list of your goals, desires, needs, and so on. Afterward, label these things in order of importance. You can start small and get big or go big or go home. Whatever works for you. However, I see this as a time for you to figure out what’s important to you. You may have things that seem new and refreshing, but if you let go of the things that are already important, you’ll never be able to maintain the new things, just as they will become old one day too.

Capricorn: The ruffed grouse is the state bird of Pennsylvania. Did you have any idea? I certainly did not. I have been living my life thinking our state bird is an eagle. However, if anyone were to ever ask me what the state bird is, and I said an eagle, I bet I wouldn’t be judged for it. I feel like it’s a completely reasonable mistake. I even thought our city’s football team was named after our state bird, which, again, I thought was an eagle. I also spent the first 25 years of my life believing I was a monkey, until I realized the Chinese New Year fell after my birthday in my birth year, making me a goat. At first, I felt almost hurt by this newfound knowledge. Now I like being a goat. Being a monkey and an Aquarius was hard to live up to. See, being a goat has leveled me enough to admit my faults. I urge you to acknowledge your own faults, and do what it takes to level with yourself, and be able to admit them. It will be like the best breath of fresh air you’ve ever breathed.

Aquarius: Every time Monday rolls around, I find myself behaving like Garfield. I dislike Mondays and I love lasagna (when there’s no meat involved). I want to sleep all day, like the cat he is. You see, my partner lives in New York for work during the week, but spends his weekends at his home in Philadelphia with me. We spend our time enjoying each other very much, balancing fun activities and absolute chill time. We go for long walks, we laugh a lot and we cook a lot of food and fit in a movie or two. The three nights and two days we spend together bring so much joy to me that when he leaves before dawn on Monday mornings, the house feels so still and empty. Do you have something that overwhelms you with such joy, that you feel a small loss every time you depart from it, even though you know you’ll be filled with its joy again? Replace this with some heavy food and a few naps, Aquarius! Or some yoga or meditation, maybe a long walk with a bag of gummy bears. I find I am partial to the south side of Girard between Frankford and the highway, if you’re looking for a good walk with nice distractions. Inspire yourself and prepare yourself, because that joy is about to come back to you soon.

Pisces: Last week, during my first week of my brand new job, I got terribly ill in the afternoon. I decided to stop at a Wawa between jobs and pick up a bite for lunch. As I was eating the food, I thought to myself, “This is pretty gross”. About two hours later, out of what seemed like nowhere, my temperature rose, my hands were shaking, my mouth was dry, and I was so nauseous. I turned to one of my new co-workers and explained what was going on. She suggested I go outside, which I did. I started feeling nervous and embarrassed, feeling like the nausea was going to make me vomit. I called my boyfriend at work while I was outside, because there were construction people everywhere, and I didn’t know what to do. I went back inside, tried out the newly remodeled bathroom in the house, and then returned to my co-workers. I said I had to go home. I’ve had perfect attendance at almost every job I have ever had. I felt so stupid that I actually wrote Wawa to complain. Pisces, you may have some feelings in you that are not very great that you feel humiliated by or ashamed of. If you just take a deep breath and take care of these things, you’ll feel much better. And if you’re anything like me, you may end up with a gift certificate!

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