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Spirit Astrology: Your Dose of Hyperlocal Spiritual Advice

Aries: Back in the In the day when Johnny Brenda’s had a big bathroom near the bar downstairs, I once saw an amazing band from Fishtown cover a song by another amazing band from Fishtown. It was Blood Feathers covering the Mazarin song, “The New American Apathy”. Knowing these bands quite well, both from their music and the members themselves, I do remember this cover bringing chills to my skin. It’s nice how a memory can give you a chill just the same. Sometimes it’s this time of year, in the cold, dark hours, where we are forced to face some old memories. This is in your control, Aries. I suggest you choose your favorite memories and chill with them.

Taurus: Jerry Seinfeld, a Taurus himself, likes to start some jokes with “What’s the deal with?..” and then he says something so regular and makes it so interesting. Maybe you’re in a rut? Maybe you’re feeling too regular? Well, what’s the deal with that, Taurus? Get out into this world and turn that regular you into interesting you. Maybe become a Mummer in this year’s parade with The Rabble Rousers Brigade? Put on your Halloween costume and go buy your groceries at Acme? Rent a cargo tricycle from Transport Cycle and fill it with thrift store stuffed animals while blasting your favorite tunes from a boombox? Find out what the deal is!

Gemini: I once wrote a poem, “People always say to just wing it; to go with the flow. But If I could wing anything, It would be my arms, and I would fly away.” I wonder, Gemini, as an air sign, if you ever imagine yourself flying away? Like a little bird, a superhero or a 747 — free and soaring through the air. Not embarrassed to break wind! Flying away with your head in the clouds. Well, if this is true for you, I say come down to Earth, dude. It’s time to be a little more grounded. Buy yourself a pair of red Chakra Shades and wear them for 15 minutes, take them off for 30 minutes, and repeat this throughout the day. Get with your core.

Cancer: I have a good conscience, his name is Jesse Moynihan. He is a comic genius. Not so much in the “haha funny” way (no offense, Jess), but as in the “he makes comics” way. As an artist, and as I mentioned, my good conscience, he is full of decent intuition and purity in his soul. He made his own Tarot Card Deck (Listen to him on Duncan Trussell for more on that). He gave me a reading, remotely, from France last year. We did a reading on love, about this guy I wanted to start dating. The cards said to go for it. I went for it. It’s been over a year with and without this person in my life. Do I regret it? Well, no, I suppose not. Do I feel a little dead? Yes, I suppose a piece of me died when it ended. You see, sometimes you get the right kind of guidance, but the journey is yours. You’re going to have to make some tough choices of your own along the way, Cancer. Find what you love and let it guide you.

Leo: In Michael Talbot’s 1991 book “The Holographic Universe”, a study is documented about 24 people on or off LSD. 6 people were given LSD and told they were, 6 people were given LSD and told they weren’t, 6 people weren’t given LSD and told they were, and 6 people weren’t  given LSD and told they weren’t. The results were outstanding, with true, delightful, helpful, mind-altering LSD becoming for some, nothing but a placebo. Imagine yourself in this situation, Leo. Which group would you prefer to be in and why? How do you think you’d like to take the effect on? I think it would be neat to get contact high from LSD and use my own brain to hallucinate. Take on your character and cross over beyond this world to the next!

Virgo:  The Boutique “Rock and Roll” Hotel that is planned for Frankford Ave is sure to make way for more traffic and more people around Fishtown. I’m sure those of us that have been supporting this neighborhood for 10+ years are having trouble supporting so much new development. But isn’t that selfish? Shouldn’t we accept the change? It seems a Virgo loves an idea unless it’s someone else’s. Taking the reign makes you proud, and you’re certainly good at this. However, maybe let someone else come up with the grand idea this time. You never know what you can add to it to make it the grandest!

Libra: Polka dots or stripes, Libra? Fun or serious? Dare to mix the two? Whether you know it or not, you often do mix the two, you just don’t realize it. A hard worker, a natural nurturer, you also like to have fun, to drink a little too much or say a little too much, etc. You’re the type of person that is trustworthy to most. You’re a well balanced Zodiac sign. Take comfort in this. As there are only a few weeks left in this autumn season of yours, it’s really your time to shine. Be as confident as you can for the next few weeks. Nail a job interview or a new lover or a new painting to your bedroom wall. Whatever you choose to nail, be confident that you’re doing it just right.

Scorpio: Richard Brautigan wrote “A Love Poem”. It reads, “It’s so nice to wake up in the morning, all alone, and not have to tell someone you love them, when you don’t love them anymore.” Yet, what if you don’t like waking up alone? What if you never told the person you loved them anyway? I know someone who confuses his heart with his actions and words very well. Not nearly a poet, he says things all wrong. Not nearly a lover, he does things all wrong. I imagine him instead, waking up all alone and wishing someone was there to tell him they love him. If you are a lover, a cuddler, a wordsmith, a poet, a dreamer, a warm hearted creature, Scorpio, you better start showing those sides of you or someone will be reciting this poem about you soon enough.

Sagittarius: Some people find ways to “protect” themselves, which, from an outsider’s perspective, looks a lot more like running away from their problems or even hiding or avoiding an issue. Rather than seeking help or working through a problem, these types walk away and try not to look back. Then, shortly later, are haunted by their own decisions. If you are a runner, an avoider, or a “protector”, as it were, I strongly advise you to face some issues in the coming weeks. Ignoring them or keeping a distance will only bite you in the end. Learn what the true meaning of staying true to yourself really looks like, and include the world around you in this discovery.

Capricorn: The great Charlie Chaplin once said, “Anyone can make them cry, it takes a genius to make them laugh”. I wonder if he thought most people were cruel? I certainly do. People are dishonest and deceiving, and truly out for themselves, which is fine; to each his own. And yet, to make a cruel person laugh – to truly laugh from way inside of themselves; to enjoy themselves from another’s actions or words is really something special. In the days to come, you will find yourself being that genius to someone, or someone providing you with such amusement.

Aquarius: On his album, “A wizard, A true Star”, local legend Todd Rundgren sings in his song, “Never Never Land”, “I know a place where dreams are born / And time is never planned / It’s not on any chart / You must find it in your heart.” Take it from me, a true Aquarius, these words are very real. Dreams come from your heart, and if you follow your heart, your dreams will come true. Look at me, I am your Astrologer now! A dream come true! This song goes on to transition into his song “Tic Tic Tic” (the second best moment in Rock and Roll history) just as your dreams can transition into reality. Nothing happens for a reason. You need to make things happen for yourself. Set a goal, follow your heart, and make a plan, Aquarius. You’re in for a real treat soon enough!

Pisces: Thom Nickels, the author of The Spirit Of The Riverwards’ featured opinion column, “The Local Lens”, keeps me waiting every week for his new story. Sometimes, he covers current events, sometimes he recalls his past and sometimes he writes pure fictional pieces. He is all over the place, yet he is just one column. It’s like that golden moment in life, Pisces — it seems like there’s just one, but there are so many. You ought to find a way to spread yourself out. Be your own Thom Nickels or your own golden moment. Be everything you can be, but embody it all in the one that is quintessentially YOU.

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