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Spirit Astrology: Your Weekly Dose of Hyperlocal Spiritual Advice (March 1, 2017)

Aries: I recently heard a story about boycotting versus buycotting. In the story, the question was that if the decision is made to boycott a large company, like the recent Uber incident, where thousands of people were cancelling their apps, who is this really affecting? Are you getting even close to the CEOs of the companies, or, rather, are you affecting the lives of the drivers? These drivers might not support the company, but the company supports their families. I often ride in cars like these, and the drivers tell me they’re only doing this “between jobs,” yet in some cases this has been their job for more than a year. So, really, it is just their job. It reminded me of adolescent arguments about being vegan, and whether or not being vegan could allow you to shop anywhere. Are the CEOs of Whole Foods carnivores? The issue can go even deeper: Is your bus pass made of recycled materials? Where do your art supplies or your motorcycle parts come from? Can you ever really be so pure or loyal to something? The answer is simple: no. You can do your best to really just affect you in your decisions, and perhaps those closely related to your life. Be careful in your decisions coming up. You never know how or who you might affect.


Taurus: Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. This saying encourages us to perceive beauty as subjective, as a way to differentiate people. I’m grateful for the beauty I see and have seen, and I look forward to the experience of beauty. It engenders such an incredible feeling in me that verges on a deep sadness or affinity for life. It can be almost painful in the most expressive way, that in itself could be described best as beautiful. Find what it is that is beautiful to you, Taurus, and learn to cherish it. This experience could really humble your otherwise ignorant quest to see beauty within versus without.


Gemini: On a typical Chinatown bus ride from New York to Philly, I sat by the window and felt the cold air pumping in. This was only a few days ago, so I’m sure you gather the inconvenience of this, being that it is winter. There should have been hot air. There’s a saying: “You pay for what you get”. I hold this true in a situation as described, or a decent kitchen knife, or even in the more cosmic ways of karma. Sometimes spending a little more money or a little more time or a little more care on something can really have an effect on the level of satisfaction guaranteed. Don’t forget this, Gemini. You’re certainly going to need this advice in some way very soon.


Cancer: Everyone is no one most of the time. We exist mainly within ourselves, and if we are lucky, we can impact someone else enough that we exist with them too. Loneliness, as a chronic pain, different from being alone, can cause physical pain, dependency on substances, addiction to TV and a lack of self-worth or even self-pity. I suggest that when you’re on your next walk down Frankford Avenue, or through NoLibs, and you’re judging all the out-of-towners for whatever reason you feel entitled enough to, just chill, Cancer. One or more of these people could end up being what saves you from yourself.


Leo: More and more often I’ve been hearing the word “woke” used as an adjective, describing a person who is well informed or even enlightened. Sometimes I leave my house on a sunny day, and I wonder why my sunglasses aren’t working, only to realize it’s because I am wearing my regular glasses instead. I’ll be no monk with this sort of lack of awareness. Leo is a truly spirited beast, who I believe is aware or more woke than most. If you’re feeling a little lazy in this department, host a guided meditation, hit up the sensory deprivation tanks at Flotation Philly or try any of the yoga spots in our hood. If you’re not extremely woke, then you must be sleeping, as it were. Missing out on the wonders of the world, and choosing to look too inward, and not enough outward. You need to be present with you, but also everywhere else. Wake up and get woke, buddy. Then lead the way for us all!


Virgo: The Virgo male of the United States is possibly the least affectionate breed of Virgo on the planet. Constantly tied up in their minds with ways to fix what’s not broken, or to learn some new life tool, they carry inward a sort of affection for themselves, but have trouble articulating this feeling for others either verbally or physically. All Virgos suffer from an overstimulated mind, but the female Virgo finds ways to express that. I have a cool way for you to express your ways for someone. Take them to Milkcrate, where the music is just fine, and ask them to play a game where you rhyme. They’ll say a word, and you’ll match its ending, giving them the vibe of the love that you’re sending. When it’s your turn to choose, and their turn to rhyme, I suggest a word that will take some time: Virgo.


Scorpio: I enjoy the phrase “ants in your pants,” and I enjoy the idea of constantly moving. Yet the true idea of having ants in my pants makes me sick to my stomach. Can you even fathom the feeling of ants crawling inside your pants? Thousands of small little ants just running all over doing their thing. No, thank you. Yet, to be blessed with the urge to keep moving, to not become idle, excites me. Scorpio is the epitome of this. Always wanting to move and never okay sitting still. Yet sometimes taking a break is not a big deal at all. Think of it as needing to get the ants out of your pants and really feel that relief. The days are getting disgracefully warm this winter, so why not play the game and hit up an empty Fishtown lot while the chance is still there? Just bask in the sun and maybe tuck your shirt in and tight-roll your pants – just to avoid those ants getting in.  


Sagittarius: I am on a new strict diet, due to some recent health concerns. This involves an alcohol-free diet, and at two days in, I would love a beer. I just love the light and free feeling of the evening beer high, and yet there are other things I love that require me to let go of this feeling. Oddly enough, the new routine also includes working out certain parts of my body and eating bananas. Well, I dislike bananas very much. I dislike the smell, I dislike the texture. I haven’t eaten a banana since the summer of 2012. That’s nearly five years without a banana, and now I’m shooting for two a week. I can only eat them during this very small window of not too ripe and not too green, or I throw them in the fire! Heck no, this seems too difficult! Yet, according to the new gig, changes I dislike need to be made if I want certain things to be better. Sag, you stubborn little thing, join me in this, please. Accept the subtle dislikes of the banana, or the major life changes of letting go of that very dirty martini. Out with the old and in with the new. “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other’s gold.”


Capricorn: The overworking Capricorn is confident in their trade. Not overly adjusted to think they’re better than their peers, but confident enough to feel, at the very least, equal. Yet, for the Capricorn to accept a compliment is like giving a baby ice cream for the first time. So delighted, you can see those little eyes light up, yet maybe spitting the ice cream out in disbelief of its cold and delicious shock to the baby’s system. One of my best friends has been living in L.A. for just about seven years. We talk often enough. He keeps himself so busy that it’s hard to catch up, unless we video chat as he works. I sit in front of the screen doing most of the talking, yapping away at my leisure, and he – Jesse – listens and draws. We have deep talks; we have funny talks. He gives me incredible advice, and between us is a love like no other. For nearly 20 years, Jesse and I have been very close, and never once has our relationship become romantic. The love falls so deep and easy, like that between a brother and a sister. Yet, before we close our computers, I say, “I love you, Jesse!”, and once every 100 times, he tells me he loves me too. The other 99 times, he looks at me and smiles and laughs awkwardly and just says, “Okay”. If only he knew what the one time he expresses himself means to me, to hear him exchange the sentiment, I think he could move up to at least 10 times out of 100. My advice is this: the next time someone compliments you, tells you how they feel, or shows affection, do not be afraid. Dive right in and feel the love of being loved from giving love all the while.


Aquarius: I tend to put an intense and high value on myself. I work hard, and would like to be valued for my work. I don’t mean solely in my workplace (which is nonexistent at the moment), but also in life. I work hard to tend to my friends, and I expect the same back from them. I believe that sometimes people do know you better than you know yourself, and I think this holds very true within the Aquarius. The thing with us is that we actually seek acceptance from other people, and when they have something they don’t accept about us, we need to learn to accept this. Sometimes the payback isn’t a lovely compliment, but a true critique from someone who loves you very much. I was recently called out on a behavior of mine, that I am aware of, but sort of dismissed as normal or okay. Being called out on it left me with no argument at all. It left me having to accept that maybe this person was right, and that it is time for me to make a change. It makes me feel good to learn, even if learning comes from such a hard place. Join me in allowing your next critique to not be criticism, but rather a deep love coming from someone who cares. If you want to value yourself as highly as I do, you’re going to have to accept that you’re not perfect.


Pisces: In last week’s horoscope, there was an edit between my writing and your reading that conveyed an absolutely different message than the one I was trying to get across to you, Pisces. I spoke of John Malkovich becoming a fashion designer and how I always wanted that myself, and have even tried very hard to get there, but haven’t had the means to do so. Considering his very average choice of style, I asked, “Why him?” I called myself jealous. I ended that horoscope with a twist, coining the phrase, “You can’t fail unless you try.” However, it was printed for you to read this as, “You can’t succeed unless you try.” The joke I was making was that there’s still room to fail, even if you try, yet it’s worth the try anyway, even if it’s just for you. The pride within you, sans public acceptance, could inspire you to grow from that “failure”. So, as you spent the last week thinking I believed in you, now you know the truth. You believe in you, and you will need to keep this attitude up as best you can. Let’s try leaving you with this one this week: “If at first you don’t succeed, pick yourself up and try again. Try again.”


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