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Spirit Astrology: Your Dose of Hyperlocal Spiritual Advice (February 8, 2017)

Aries: Greensgrow Farms, one of our favorite local green spaces, is hosting a Scrapple Workshop on April 1st. This is no April Fool’s Day gag — this is the real deal. Although I think scrapple is a weird food, I appreciate the idea behind the workshop. Eating deep-fried pig scraps won’t ever be on my menu, but I would love to see how it’s made. Aries, there are a lot of things in life you don’t enjoy, but learning is certainly something you love. This could be a good time to figure out something that turns you off and figure out why. Give a go at learning about the origin or process of what this is, and see if it strikes your fancy a little bit more. For example, if I weren’t unemployed and embarrassingly broke, I would spend the mere $35 on this workshop and learn how to make scrapple, even if I’d be hesitant to try it in the end.

Taurus: I was recently visiting a friend in New York who was teaching her two year old about horizontal and vertical lines. The child stared at her mother as if she were the smartest person on Earth. Like the mother in this story, you’ve got a knack for teaching. You often tell people very little about a new idea, but imagine how fascinating you could seem if you were to elaborate a little bit more! This two year old had no idea that lines had names. Take pride in this trait of yours and show someone something new. It doesn’t have to be elaborate at all. It could be as simple as showing someone a different way to do something they already know how to do, or letting someone in on your favorite bar, or even picking up your favorite newspaper, and reading them your new favorite hyperlocal astrology by yours truly.

Gemini: I never did like the coffee at the Rocket Cat, although there have been times when I drank lots of it. I used to ride my bike from West Philly just to catch the cool vibes, the fireplace, the art on the walls and the friendly service. Yet I still feel sad that it’s changing. I loved the griminess of it and the diamonds on the wall outside. And when Holly worked there, the tunes were always pleasant. Who knows what will come of it now? Probably not a great, classic brick building, but instead, I bet it will fit the bill of the neighborhood shift. Maybe you need some adjusting, Gemini? Maybe it’s time to renovate yourself from the comfortable classic you into a more suitable and likable person for everyone. It could be a shift in you that could bring in more money or a new group of friends. Keep your memories alive, but keep living, too.

Cancer:  I used to frequent Danger Salon, back when I had the cash to get work done there. I always looked forward not only to the great eyebrows I would walk away with but also to the service I’d receive. Every person who I have encountered in this place has been so kind to me. I miss that monthly trip to the shop, where I would be offered a drink, or asked about myself, or where I would just get to sit and listen to great music while some beautiful woman used her skills to make me look nicer. I made a promise to myself that with the next little bit of money I make, I will go back and have this pleasant experience again. Cancer, if there’s a happy place you’ve been neglecting or just unable to go to, I say now is your time to return. Go splurge on a decent cappuccino from La Calombe, pick up a postcard at Jinxed or go and get your hair done at Danger Salon. Whatever it is, let yourself remember how good it feels, if only just once, for now.

Leo: Have you ever noticed how the sounds of the city can seem peaceful? Once I lived on Front Street in Queen Village for a bit. It was summer and I have fond memories of opening the windows to hear the sounds of the cars on 95 rushing by. I would lie on the couch, close my eyes and imagine that the city’s bustling sounds were actually those of the ocean’s waves. If you think of it, you can find beauty in anything, even if just because it reminds you of something else. Leos do love to dream, but an underlying temper can hold you back, even aggressively. Don’t be mad at things you can’t control. Let them be and maybe find another way to enjoy them. Summer is coming, but for now, don’t let seasonal depression get you down.

Virgo: I love this quote from Charles Darwin: “A man who chooses to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.” Virgo, you’re a pretty busy person, even in your mind. Waste isn’t something you like much at all, but sometimes waste is hard to define. If you’re a trash-picker, a dumpster-diver, a thrifter, a recycler at all, then you see waste differently. However, time is of the essence. You need to recognize this, now more than ever. Time keeps moving along, as does a pair of jeans. Yet both will meet their end. If you’ve got the urge to make a move in your life, now is your time. Don’t wait. Waiting is wasting in this regard. Take all of the pent-up Virgo in you and go forth with all the strength you’ve got. Time, however, will allow patience in this.

Libra: Only about once or twice a year I get to see my old and dear friend Amy. She took me out to Mulherin’s last week to celebrate my birthday and it was an awesome experience. Not just because the food was good, the waiter we had was great, and the cocktail was amazing, but because Amy and I have such a deep and strong connection since we met in the sixth grade that, even if a year passes, it feels like no more than a day. We may have aged a good 20+ years, but when I see her, I see the same person I knew when I was running away from home, telling her about losing my virginity, traveling down the shore and laughing until our bodies hurt. It’s nice to have such a connection. Libra, let yourself engage in such a timeless wonder. Find a good place, a good friend, and party like it’s 1999.

Scorpio: It may seem like everything is in its place for you right now. You may be feeling like you’re on top of the world; the queen of the castle. But be careful, my dear Scorpio. You always seem to stay above long enough without recognizing the depths, and when you fall, you fall hard. It’s cold these days and falling will only hurt that much more. Remain happy and free, but do not forget how you got where you are. Hard work has certainly paid off, but the struggles within should stay in the past, perhaps as a blessing. You may be on the cruise ship you’ve been waiting for your whole life, but pay attention when you’re told where the life jackets are.

Sagittarius: I have been unemployed for close to a year. It’s been a rough time, not having an income. I don’t get to go out, go shopping or travel much at all. I do little things to make money, but it doesn’t really pay the bills. I read my horoscope somewhere the other day that suggested perhaps I am trying so hard to get something, like a job, but that it isn’t the path this universe has set out for me. Wondering what it is I should be doing instead, I took some time to meditate on it. Meditation usually leads to daydreaming, so I just started thinking about all the things I want in life and not one of them was a job. If you’ve been feeling like you’re on a path to something you think you want or need, and it continues to seem farther away every day, I say go for something else! Think of what you really want and spend your time focusing on that Lamborghini Countach you’re never going to get.

Capricorn: In the 1980 film “Werner Herzog Eats His Shoe”, documentarian Les Banks shows Herzog cooking shoes he wore during a bet he made, claiming that if the Errol Morris film “Gates Of Heaven” ever came to completion, Herzog would eat his shoe. If you’re a bet maker, whether it be with yourself or others, be careful, Capricorn. Don’t be so sure of yourself all the time. Stubbornness is a rough struggle for you, but if you don’t humble yourself soon, you may end up eating your shoe. Even if you spice it up and cook it up real nice, your body will still have to digest your pride. The best way to swallow your pride, in my opinion, is to do just that. You don’t need to see its significance in your shoes first.

Aquarius: After a lovely day celebrating my birthday, I fell asleep to some pretty terrible dreams. I haven’t had a nightmare in a really long time. These were even beyond nightmares — they were visions of cremating a love in my life while seeing another covered in sores. I then had another another dream where violence broke out in some sort of riot form and I was nearly killed. Needless to say, the start of the next day was slow and steady. I thought about these dream sequences so vividly, I couldn’t get into a proper mood. I see this all now as a way of shedding the nightmare I lived the previous year. The pain and suffering I went through is terrifying enough, I can barely bring it to the surface. However, as I got the chance to wake up from the dreams, I hope this new year will wake me up and remove me from the nightmares of waking life’s past. I hope you can join me, my fellow Aquarians, to make this Year of the Fire Rooster all it can be, but mostly: NEW.

Pisces: I lost one of my favorite hats recently, on the very same night my girlfriend lost her hat. The two of us were both saddened and confused by how we could both lose our favorite hats at all, and together on the same night, no less. She eventually found hers, but mine is most likely in a ditch or being worn by someone else. Are you saddened by the recent success of someone close to you? Has someone else seemed to have achieved something you want, although it seemed like you were in it together? This is no way to live your life, Pisces. You may never find your lost hat in life, but you will regain a better one somehow soon. 

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